Lesson 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up
her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself
in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there
stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob
says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a
moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps
back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the
bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next
door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say
anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Management lesson: If you share critical information pertaining to
credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a
position to prevent avoidable exposure......and some embarrassment.
Lesson 2
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs,
forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his
hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest
apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak ." Arriving at the
convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the
priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek,
further up, you will find glory."
Management lesson: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity
Lesson 3
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie
comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." Me
first! Me first!"says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the
Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone.
Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in
Hawaii ,relaxing on the beach with my personal masse-use, an endless
supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's
gone."OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager
says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Management lesson: Always let your boss have the first say. In fact let everyone have their say first.
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small
rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do
nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."So, the rabbit sat on
the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox
appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up
Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get
to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
energy." Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?"
replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients. "The turkey pecked
at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to
reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some
more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth
night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was
promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Management lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the
bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was
lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the
frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize
how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there
all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat
heard the bird singing and came to investigate Following the sound,
the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly
dug him out and ate him.
Management lesson: Not everyone who sh!ts on you is your enemy. Not
everyone who gets you out of sh!t is your friend. And when you're in
deep sh!t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
5 comments:
Ahhh...SUP, the long awaited post !!I almost wanted to go to the shout-box today !
Yes all these above jokes have been told countless times but more often we just laugh it off as a joke and continue yearning for more jokes...never the moral behind it !You take a very philosophical view (hey..thats your name,right ?) out of these stories or jokes tony, and that sort of takes the laughter out of it lah ! Chill bro, have a laugh and take one day at a time !Remember...laughter is a great medicine...for coughs, colds and headaches !hahahah !!!(that's plagarising your line !)
cheers!
very interesting.. i must tell my friend douglas 2 read this and tell his friends bout it as well..
steph
Tony!
Had a kick-out of this one. Ha-ha.
Hi ShanghaiF,
Was away in Bangkok...you can never imagine what a break and a holiday in B'kok can do to stimulate your senses..hahahaha
Steph,
Douglas needs to understand this since he just entered the corporate world of reptiles and vultures...and you to since you'll be joining them soon. Tc
Hello En Mat S,
Nice to hear from you bro. Hope to catch up maybe after Raya? Selamat Berbuka Puasa brudder!
Thanks, I really needed this as I have not been able to laugh or smile since the pervert/beast took Nurin away.
Post a Comment